Anthony Weiner’s Guide to 6-Pack Abs.
October 5, 2011 2 Comments
As some of you may remember, and as more of you have probably forgotten, Anthony Weiner was extremely fit and ripped. His abdominal muscles were undoubtedly the tightest of any Congressman in recent memory. His online antics made him very famous and infamous, but what he should have been noted is how physically fit the man is. Well Mr. Weiner, tehe, agrees. He has recently made a life-altering decision and has given up his political dreams for a career in physical fitness. His first exercise program is to target the abdominal muscles which he has said to be “completely neglected for other flashier muscles like biceps, or penises.”
The program is as follows-
First, you need to get yourself a “throne of lies” to sit during your time in and out of office. These “thrones” are more commonly referred to as exercise balls. This will cause you to stabilize your core in the times that you would normally be sitting idly at your desk chair. This low impact use of your core will gain momentum over weeks and you will quickly see a difference in the waist line.
Let’s face it, your diet sucks. You don’t have to tell us what you eat because we know it’s not a healthy diet otherwise you would be in better shape. So your first diet change is to begin eating a lot of crow. Crow meat is a very lean meat full of proteins, calcium, nutrients, and science. And what’s amazing about crow, is that they come in perfect serving portions. One bird is the equivalent of one serving size. Not like these bags of chips nowadays that have 100 calories per serving but have 189 servings in them. Also, the process of hunting will burn upwards of one thousand calories a day. That could be the equivalent of ten lbs a year! So do your body a favor and grab the nearest pellet gun and have yourself some crow for dinner.
The last and possibly most important thing to add to your routine is running. You need to virtually run from your problems and continue to run until there is absolutely no denying that you cannot run any longer. If you push yourself like this you will burn more calories than ever before and will be well on your way to becoming a leaner, meaner you.
If you follow Anthony Weiner’s easy 3-step program to getting 6-pack abs with more discipline than Mr. Weiner, tehe, himself had, then you will be on your way to becoming a better person and will ultimately be better than everyone around you.