Men of Congress Required to Wear Pregnancy Belly for 9 Months

With all of this talk about restricting the American woman’s ability to get a hold of contraception, apparently nobody read the bills that were going through Congress to do so.

Earmarks are a massive headache for Congressmen and women, even though most use them very regularly to create beneficial acts for their districts.  Sometimes they include provisions like Alaska’s legendary “bridge to no where.”  That bridge goes to no where but it did create countless jobs in Alaska, helping to boost their economy.  In a recent bipartisan bill simply asking all public universities to install waterless urinals, the women of Congress apparently pressured the men of Congress to put in an earmark or else withhold sex forever.  When reminded that no one has sex with those women, they brought up the fact that all women know each other.  And they could easily get husbands and more importantly mistresses to abstain.

So the men put in the bill an earmark that would require all males who denigrate the ability to receive contraception quietly and without shame from employers or the world around them, to wear a pregnancy belly for 9 months straight to give them a little glimpse into the difficulties of carrying a child.  So if in the coming months you see John Boehner or Paul Ryan looking a little more plump, you know why.