iFARTID: Ramblings of an Old Man

Dentures. Old men wear them. Get it?

Whoever invented commas anyways? Reading words is enough of a pain in the ass. I want to know who decided to put lines in the middle of a sentence and said “This is when to pause.” Well I’m not going to pause buddy! I want to get this whole “reading” thing done as quickly as possible so I can resume my Judge Mathis episode. Those people on that show sure are crazy. But that’s discussion for another time.

Some “intellectuals” claim that commas are useful for separating lists of items or preventing run on sentences. I’d like to refute that disputable fact. Watch me list some of my favorite things to complain about: Peanut butter black socks wooden docks boats shoelaces skaters French horns. SEE HOW EASY THAT WAS!?

So the next time an asshole grammatical expert tries to correct my complaint letter Imma have to choke a bitch. Hey is there a male version of the word bitch or can that only be in reference to a female? Food for thought for the week…

*Please take note that there is not a SINGLE comma in this entire article…shows how useless they actually are.