Satirists Have all Killed Themselves Attempting to Make Connecticut School Shooting Funny

Satirists have come out of the woodwork in the past few years, on the internet, on television, and in movies.  They make light of terrible situations or point out odd behavior no one else notices.  They create semi-realistic situations based off of the real world as a form of commentary on said situations.  But today, satirists have officially grown stumped as to how they could make light of the Connecticut school shooting that took place today December 14th 2012.  Opinionated Democrat, Andy Borowitz, and every single writer (and even some accountants) for The Onion, have all committed suicide.  There is no way to make light of this situation.  Not possible.