Ralph, Al, and some hoe.
Ralph Nader, the biggest ball buster in the history of United States politics has supposedly “cock blocked” Al Gore yet another time sources say. Our source, who stated that his name was Hal Dore,… claimed to be at a bar the same time as Al Gore and his wife Tipper Gore. The couple was celebrating their 30th wedding anniversary, a milestone to say the least, when Nader and Mr. Gore met eyes from across the bar. Apparently Al was hesitant and avoided eye contact but regardless, Nader made a b-line across the room knocking over drinks, being hit by darts, and nearly having to fight a group of frat guys. But let’s face it. Everyone almost fights frat guys. Nader eventually made his way to the Gore’s table without noticing a thing. They then proceeded to converse about the usual topics: weather, what’s been goin’ on, family members. For those of us with common sense, we would realize to walk away after this and let the happy married couple to their night. But Nader, being the social butterfly that he is, continued to stay even when the conversation reached a lull and hit an awkward point that probably only lasted ten seconds but reportedly felt like an hour of silence.
Next in the conversation, Tipper, being the sweetheart that she is, sarcastically invited him to sit and grab a drink with them but Nader did not catch the sarcasm so he pulled up a chair to the tiny two-seater table despite the fact that it was sticking out into the aisle and he was repeatedly bumped into by passersby and servers. During their time at the bar, Nader made reference to the 2000 election fifteen times, his prostate seven times, and flicked Al Gore’s flab on his stomach twice. As if that were not enough, nearing the end of their meal, Nader mentioned how he and his wife had a big argument over whether to watch How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days or The Bucket List, and she had kicked him out of the house for the time being. He then began what appeared to be what most people would call crying though it did appear at times to be dust instead of tears coming out.
At this point it was near impossible to say goodbye to Nader. They could have, but they would have undoubtedly appeared dick-like to the general public. So of course they invited him back to their home where he could stay the night. Nader could not believe his ears. Could it really be? Yes he was brought back to the Gore’s house to spend a night, two at the most. They walked in to find rose petals sweetly strewn about the floor leading up to their bedroom that Al had set up in order to finish the night with some sweet love making. “I would have given it to him so hard that night,” Tipper stated. Nader walked upstairs to use the bathroom and during this time the Gore’s discussed how they were going to get him out of their home. They could not come up with anything so they decided to let him stay the night and then level with him in the morning. They walked upstairs only to find Nader curled up in their rose covered, candle surrounded bed. Instead of becoming even angrier, they saw how peaceful he looked and simply covered him with a blanket of theirs, organic of course, and spent the rest of the night watching How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days while falling asleep in each others arms.
No, Al Gore did not receive any intercourse, oral or otherwise that night. But it is fine because he has sworn that he will find some way to hurt Nader in the near future, when he least expects it. Here at Rawful News, we cannot wait to find out what that plan is.