Catholic Church Decides to Stop Fighting Contraception Premium Battle Since They Haven’t Used the Stuff Ever.

The Catholic Church has been an ardent opponent of President Obama’s new federal regulation requiring contraception services in government-mandated health insurance plans citing freedom of religion as their main discrepancy.  But apparently the church has had a change of heart recently as they plan to back down.

The change of heart occurred when they realized that Catholics have never, and will never, use any form of contraception.  “Everyone practices safe and responsible sex only after they are married,” stated the Pope.  (check out the Pope’s visit to Cuba here: http://bit.ly/HotUm4) “We have nothing to worry about in regards to paying these premiums.  All Catholics are extremely responsible.  Add all of the contraception rules you want.  Catholics will be just fine Mr. Obama.”

So now that these laws are in place, apparently nothing will change from before.  There will be no more pregnancies or no less pregnancies than there were before this statute was enacted.  Similarly there will be no saved money or spent money by the Catholic church of members of said religion.  Life will be exactly the same as we knew it.