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Women on the Front Lines to Receive Makeover!!!!!


Def had work done on those lips!

This past week, the White House announced that the women on the front lines will be receiving a much needed makeover.

Up until recently, women were not allowed to serve on the front lines of combat because of archaic feelings about what women are capable of.  The women in the military of changed the minds of our nation’s leaders and have shown they are tough enough to serve on the front lines.  But they surely can’t go to war in a very dangerous area looking all drab and yucky now can they!

Which is why the White House’s next course of action is to set up a new committee: Keeping Our Frontline Women Pretty.  Since women are now truly equal in the military, we need to make sure they are always looking their best.  That is the truly important issue.  And we all know that when a woman says she is mad about the dishes, she is really mad you did not compliment her new haircut.  Many think their attempts to get on the front lines were really just a complaint about their ugly outfits.

No one is sure who will design the new outfits.  Many in Congress have thrown around the names Ed Hardy and Von Dutch because they heard “those are the cool designers.”  When most Congressmen were asked what material the new outfits would be and both wool and silk were thrown out, though nothing is set in stone.  “Ask my wife.  She’s the boss,” said Ohio Congressman Dennis Kucinich.

We here at Rawful News are super duper excited to see what those old men can come up with for these beautiful and strong women.

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Muammar Gaddafi: A Fashion Icon.


Ugh, so fashionable.

It is big news that the long-time Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi has been killed this past week while he was attempting to flee the area.  He ruled his country with an iron fist and torpedoed out of office in fantastic fashion.  But there was another even more fantastic area of his life that wasn’t as talked about but equally affected millions of lives for better and for always.  Gaddafi was a fashion icon.  Lady Gaga hasn’t worn anything as extravagant as his typical outfit.

Shoulders that were practically raised above his own head, hats that would make any military general’s mouth salivate, and layers upon layers of flare in the shape of medals were all common characteristics of his wardrobe.  Even his sunglasses were the envy of millions of sorority girls at state universities.  Some even rumor that the song “Sunglasses at Night” was written about and for him.  Those close to him have said that he was traveling from Libya to Dubai in order to launch his new line of clothing.  It was going to specialize in sunglasses meant for trendy old people, crazy military medals only to be bought in bulk, and the most comfortable brown cloth drape you could ever lay your grubby little hands on.

Gaddafi was also minutes away from bringing the perm back.  His lavish lifestyle continued onto his hair as he would get a new perm once a week.  Obviously ridiculous but that’s the kind of fashion that drove him.  Chanel, Dior, Louis Vuitton, none of these fashion icons have had the same impact on our everyday lives as Muammar Gaddafi.  Qaddafi.  Ghaddafi.  Khaddafi.  Whatever dick.

Such a fab garb.

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