Seventy-Three Children Arrested in Sidewalk Graffiti Ring

This Friday, 73 children were arrested in what is being called the “largest sidewalk graffiti bust of all time.” Graffiti has become a major problem in our day and age. The defacing of public and private property is not just annoying, but costs millions in unnecessary damages every single year. Many of those damages coming to sidewalks.

For years sidewalks have been a major target of graffiti “artists.” Whether it be a flower, the sun, misshapen animals, or plans for an Al-Qaeda bomb plot, we have seen them across our beautiful streets for years. But because they appear typically in the hours most of us are at work, it has been near impossible to catch these hooligans.

Well in a moment of serendipitous discovery, FBI Agent Hank Hoeffel returned home from another frustrating and fruitless day at the office searching for countless, and more importantly faceless, patrons of the graffiti world. He sat in his regular couch seat, drank his regular beer and sat his daughter on his lap to ask about her day hoping it would cheer him up.

Unfortunately it would do the exact opposite. He saw that a weird residue was on his suit. When he searched for the cause he realized it was his daughter. He had the ring leader of the chalk gang right underneath his nose all along. He gasped but knew what must be done. He placed her in custody. Upon further investigation he found hundreds of pieces of chalk and a diary filled with names of accomplices.

“This has been the hardest case of my life. But justice has been served. And that is what is most important.”