Herman Cain Airboarded a Goldfish

Probably deserved it.

In a recent commercial put out by Herman Cain’s PAC, Cain tortures a poor, helpless animal for the sake of portraying a message.  What message?  That Herman Cain hates animals.

Most Americans are aware of waterboarding because of the United States’ controversial use of the torture tactic against those suspected of terrorist entanglements.  Many are not aware of it’s much lesser known cousin: Airboarding.

Airboarding is the act of taking a fish or underwater mammal and putting them on dry land for extended periods of time so the fish believes it is rowning in air.  Before it actually drowns, the fish is put back in water.  There are many reasons for airboarding a fish: information on where certain fish hang out, to teacher those fuckers a lesson, or worst of all for sport.

It has been rumored for years that Herman tortures fish.  But there was no proof, until his latest ad revealed his dark tendencies.  Animal activist groups are completely livid, demanding he step down from his position as former Presidential candidate.  No word as of yet from the Cain camp as to what his plan of unlimited money will include next.  Because he legally does not have to say shit.