December 26, 2011 Leave a comment
There have been a slew of fascinating people and events this year. The tenth anniversary of 9/11, Kris Humphries getting married to some no name, as well as sending troops into Libya for who knows what reason. But our writers have managed to narrow down things to the three most interesting people of 2011. And we think you’ll be pleased.
Newt Gingrich is no stranger to being in the headlines of American politics. But the reason we picked him to be one of our most interesting people in 2011, is because of his meteoric return to the political scene. Newt Gingrich went from completely forgotten, to ‘is he kidding himself?’ in this race between Republicans, to ‘omg he may be our guy.’ All of the while having more skeletons in his closet than the Manson Family. His past is full of infidelity, lobbying positions, and a Twitter account followed by over a million fake accounts. Who can trust a guy that has fake followers?! Apparently all of the Republicans who are unaware of Twitter’s existence. There is simply no denying that it takes a supremely interesting person to overcome those things in what is typically a battle of personalities and hidden secrets than in policy practices. So not only has Newt won our Sexiest Man Alive, but he is now on the list of Most Interesting People. What a year this guy is having. Oh yeah and a possible candidacy.
Rick Perry has made our list of Most Interesting People in 2011 for many reasons. The first reason is his uncanny likeness to our former President, George W. Bush. Sure they both were Governors of Texas, and sure their IQ’s are both lingering around 90. But just the similarity in their voices alone is uncanny. The reason why this is interesting is because W’s approval rating was dismal by the time he left office and it had come to the point where many Americans cringed at the very sound of his voice. The second reason why he made our list is because of his most famous accomplishment in Texas: over 200 death penalties served. With two wars being waged and another coming to a close one would think that killing people on our own home turf would bring just as much criticism. But instead it is the reason why he has become as popular as he has. But the main reason he made our list is because of his family ranch in Texas. What’s the name of the ranch you ask? ‘Niggerhead.’ And he’s still alive. That’s why he is interesting.
President Barack Obama
Barack Obama is receiving our Most Interesting Person of 2011 title for one reason. His uncanny ability to not make Americans happy. The American morale seems to be at an all-time low with little hope for the future of our once great nation. While it is debatable whether or not President Obama has helped or hindered our growth, it is clear that even his most notable achievements (killing Osama Bin Laden, creating massive health-care reform) people still cannot achieve happiness. Those that wanted Osama dead were praising the Bush Administration for their work put in place to achieve this. Those that are against all forms of war were not happy because it is only furthering violence. He created health care reform which some call “socialism” while others call it a “sorry excuse for an attempt at Universal Healthcare.” President Obama has even loosened regulations on gun rights, but continues to fight gun rights activists. Our President seems to be the most polarizing individual in political history. And that’s why he is our “Most Interesting Person of 2011.”
*Editor’s Note – All womens’ feelings were hurt in the making of this article for not being picked.
*Also in the running were Rupert Murdoch for his shadiness, and Michelle Bachmann for those devilish eyes.